tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
