Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
