News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
