That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
