oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
