3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
