Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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