Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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