think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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