I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
