I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
