You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
