Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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