I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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