Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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