My room smells like vodka and shame
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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