Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
