college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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