are you still at the devil's house?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
