I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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