mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
