Christians are straight up FREAKS
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
