So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
