But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
