i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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