I will die if light touches me.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
