Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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