You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
