the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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