i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
