the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
