Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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