in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
be right there i have to get my cape
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
