no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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