Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
