whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
