I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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