i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
