Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
