also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
