its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
wow bdsm is so cute
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
