I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
