Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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