who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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