Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
