I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
