We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
