She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My bed smells like the plague
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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