1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
