Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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