Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Come see our sink grown plant.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
