dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize